Event Rules & Structures

When public health considerations allow, we hold six meetups and four evening or weekend parties each year. Appropriate attire is required at vanilla events like dinners, where attendees should be respectful of other, non-consenting patrons and staff. Spanking and related kink attire and activities will be more than welcome at parties, and rules and expectations for these events are outlined in detail below. Weekend trips will likely feature a blend of vanilla and kink activities.

If you have a question regarding our rules or policies outline below, ask the organizers by sending an email to psaspankos@gmail.com. We’re happy to help.

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How We Structure Our Parties

Our group is ultimately focused on spanking, but we do not want to limit ourselves to it. That is why we place an emphasis on a mixture of kink and vanilla events and why we integrate a limited range of BDSM activities into our parties.

Parties will be low-protocol by default, which means that bottoms are not required or expected to address Tops in any particular way (other than respectfully!) if there is not a pre-established relationship. And Tops, in turn, are expected to both inquire about and to respect bottoms’ limits and preferences. People are welcome to maintain higher forms of protocol within their own dynamics, but these expectations do not apply to other party attendees. The default expectation at these parties is that people are working to have fun together!

The Room System

We will adopt a room-based system at parties: we will always provide spaces reserved for spanking play, but when space allows we will also offer optional dark rooms for a limited range of BDSM practices. We do reserve the right in special circumstances to have more focused thematic events, like a spanking-only immersive school roleplay. This will be made clear in event descriptions.

Traditional domestic and educational implements (i.e. paddles, straps, canes) are permitted in spaces reserved for sociality and spanking play. Genitals should be covered in spaces with food and beverages.

Nudity and BDSM-style impact and bondage play are allowed in dark rooms, but we will not permit intentional fluid exchange, and we expect that practitioners will be prepared to clean up after themselves.

Consent

In scene communities there are a number of ways to think about what constitutes sufficient consent. The most prominent are SSC and RACK, which stand for "Safe, Sane, and Consensual" and "Risk-Aware Consensual Kink." At PSA events we use PRICK, or "Personal Responsibility, Informed, Consensual Kink." What this means is that there are three requirements for a scene: (1) Every person involved has to understand their personal responsibility in the scene, (2) Every person involved has to be informed about what is about to happen, and (3) Every person involved has to consent to what has been planned.

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The Hard and Fast Rules

Safewords are RED, which requires a full stop, and YELLOW, which initiates a check-in.

If a bottom uses stoplight words in a scene and they are ignored, nearby party organizers or scene monitors will intervene. Attendees should notify a scene monitor or party organizer immediately in the case there is not one nearby.

Harassment is not permitted. No means no. Anyone can decline play for any disclosed or undisclosed reason. If someone tells you they do not want to play, do not ask them why, and do not complain. Please note that this applies to any aspect of play. If someone does not want you to pull their panties down or they do not want sexual contact, do not ask them why, and do not pressure them. Our model for consent, PRICK, requires affirmative consent negotiated prior to a scene. Accepting an act while in subspace does not constitute affirmative consent.

In spanking-focused spaces, commenting on scenes or speaking to participants is acceptable. However, if a participant in the scene asks you to disengage, do so immediately. In dark rooms, scenes can be observed, but please do not engage with them.

You may only join a spanking or dark room scene if you receive an explicit invitation to do so.

Venue rules may supersede our own standard rules. We will always clearly announce any necessary changes.

We do not tolerate discrimination on the basis of any frequently protected category.

We do not tolerate verbal abuse or dishonesty that harms, threatens, or creates risk for other members of the community.

Guidelines for having a Great Time

Respect other members and organizers. Be polite when engaging in conversation. Let people tell you about their lives, but do not ask intrusive questions. One of the group’s goals is to build a diverse community of spankos in addition to providing opportunities for play.

Please make an effort to maintain good hygiene, and keep best practices for play in mind. (Showering and Deodorant matters, and moisturizer will keep your skin from breaking!)

Bratting at parties can be a method of initiating play. If this is done inadvertently, there is nothing wrong with clarifying intentions to the contrary, but don’t make a habit of baiting play then not following through.

If another attendee declines play, do not ask why they declined. Continuing to converse with someone who rejected play is perfectly fine, but don’t continue to ask. To the same end, if another attendee says “maybe later,” let them be the ones to initiate play. If they want to come find you, they will. Here it may be helpful to know that “maybe later” can mean just that: people may have just played, or they may have other play lined up. But it can also be an attempt to politely say “no.”

Spankees are not obligated to save their flesh for future play. If a spankee exceeds his/her/their threshold for continued play, it’s nobody’s “fault.” Please respect their physical limits with grace and do not take it personally.

We Value the Safety & Privacy of Our Members

We do not allow illegal substances at our parties. For the safety of attendees, the majority of our parties will not allow marijuana and/or alcohol use. And while some of our meetups may take place at bars, we do our best to choose venues that are inclusive to the 18+ crowd.

Photos and videos are prohibited unless you have the express consent of all parties involved.

If you learn any information about a person’s vanilla life, such as their name, occupation, address, or contact information, that information should not be shared with any third parties.

You’re welcome to ask people about their lives, but don’t push if someone clearly doesn't want to answer a question. Many people have information that they don’t wish to disclose in kink settings.

If you feel unsafe, have a complaint, or notice something that threatens the mission of our group please talk with the person directly or ask Cam, Meredith, or Joan to intervene.